I Kissed Dating Goodbye

I could give you a list of all the hilarious things my baby sister has done today, or write a 10 page report on my favorite book, but I have decided to share with you one of the very important things in my life, and a big part of who I am.

In my previous entry, I mentioned that I do not date-well I'm going to tell you why, and what I do instead!

Before, or after you read this blog, I would recommend you read the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. It is what changed my mind, and showed me the things I am going to tell you. No, I'm not going to tell you that anyone who dates is horribly wrong, or wrong at all. What I AM going to tell you, is all the upsides to doing things differently.

First, I ask "What is the purpose of dating?". The only answer that I consider worthy, is anything along the lines of "To find a future spouse". While that is a valid reason, it's not the only way. There are more possible "bumps in the road" to dating, and that is what I'm trying to avoid.

For example, I've seen some third graders start "dating", their boyfriend/girlfriend is a person they hardly know, someone they deem as "cute" or (please excuse my use of the word) "hot", and its all a game. Literally a game. When the mindset that "If I just get bored with one I'll try another" is instilled inside a child, it quite possibly becomes subconscious, that's where it starts. And that can explain a portion of the 50% divorce rate.

Then it can turn into early teens, who struggle with infatuation, selfishness, and lust. Dating can just feed that monster, especially without pure intentions. Many people go into relationships with the hope that it will make THEIR life better, make THEM happier, fulfill some of THEIR needs. And that's a big red flag right there, it can only bring about problems. Idolizing the person you're dating is also an issue that can be faced. When it gets in the way of your other relationships, takes time away from priorities, and brings the focus away from God, there is something wrong. Anything we put before God is an idol.

Then there's purity, and everyone, no matter who you are, is still human, and is still a Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Stupid Sinner, we all can or will struggle with it. Whether it be thoughts, or actions, dating brings about more temptation than not.

The last red flag in the concept of dating, is romance. This can tie back into the selfish desires, but the fact of the matter is, nobody needs practice with romance. If you've dated 20 people before you get married, or if you've dated none, that doesn't change how you will show affection to someone you truly love. Which brings up another subject, dating can deter what you think the word "love" means, because the truth is, love isn't a feeling, love isn't butterflies when you see someone, or a person you really like. Love is commitment. Dating in the general term, can make you believe the exact opposite. A beautiful example, stated in "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" is flowers. If you pick flowers too soon, before they're bloomed, you miss out on much, and you can't reverse that process. It goes the same for friendships, if you rush into romance (picking the flower too soon) before the friendship is fully developed, or fully bloomed, then you miss out on so much.

Given all of these flaws to dating, I will now show you the amazingly fantastic and splendid way to go about a relationship and potential spouse. Drop the titles, and become their best friend. I'm serious, that's it in a nutshell. Pay close attention to not putting them over God, get to know them really well, pray for them and your relationship with them, show that you're committed to it, but not romantically, and enjoy having this meaningful relationship. Chances are, after you've reached the status of best friends, you will know that person a hundred times better than if you had started, or continued dating. You'll find yourself with someone that you can trust, appreciate, joke around with, ask for help, help in return, spend time with, and enjoy the presence of :)  all much more easily avoiding those problems.

Another commitment I have made, is to not kiss anyone until my wedding day, after I hear the words "You may kiss your bride". My first kiss is something I will cherish, and only give to the man I have committed to spend the rest of my life with. I encourage you to make the same decision. How cool would it be to be able to say, happily, that you never kissed anyone but your spouse, and even cooler if they could say the same! That makes it much more special, I mean imagine that moment...You're dressed up, you are so excited that your stomach feels like it is going to jump through your chest, you are standing before the love of your life, making a commitment before God and everyone to spend the rest of your life faithfully to them, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, etc., till death do you part, and then, when it seems like the happiest day of your life cannot get any better, you get to kiss them, something you've waited to do for years, and you can finally enjoy, with your new spouse! Sounds like a pretty good decision to me :)

While nobody likes to consider it, there's also the topic of break ups, or falling out. But here's the upside...If it is in God's will that you and the specific person don't become more than good friends, you still have an amazing relationship in your life. None of the "we can still be friends" or awkwardness that breakups can bring, you still have this great strong friendship :)

In conclusion, I hope I have well shared with you how incredible it can be to do this. I myself have a best friend, and seriously, it's awesome :)

P.S. Here's a link to the book :)
Click here for the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" Link