An Ideal Tea Party

I've seen a writing prompt before, in several different slight variations, that says something like "suppose you're having a dinner party, what 5 people would you invite (dead/alive/fictional/real) and why?". Weeeeell I'd much rather have a tea party, especially given the people I would chose :) So here it is!

In no particular order, here is who I would invite to my Tea Party: C.S. Lewis, The Doctor (from Doctor Who), Corrie Ten Boom, Job (from the Bible), and Severus Snape (from Harry Potter).

My reasoning for each of them is...

C.S. Lewis: Such a profound and wise man, I would feel very honored to listen to. Just to read writing and quotes of his, inspire reflection and provoke thought. Honestly, if given the choice, I would want to have coffee with just him, I could just listen and listen, and no doubt ask questions. C.S. would definitely be a first choice of mine.

The Doctor: If anything can get me acting like a fan-girl, the Doctor would definitely be one of them. Not any actor that plays him, but the character itself. A madman in a blue box :) A man who has traveled space and time, fought countless evils, and saved so much good. With a painful past, but the strength to carry on. I would love to hear all about other worlds, creatures, and adventures...as well as the things that made him the way he is. If the Doctor were an actual man, he would certainly be at my tea party.

Corrie Ten Boom: This woman, was incredible. Read her book, it's called "The Hiding Place" seriously, read it. If you have a heart you will weep, but that's a small price to pay for all of the wisdom and good theology packed into that book. Reading it gives you a very incredible picture of God's sovereignty, but I can only imagine what it would be like to hear the stories from her first-hand, wow..just wow.

Job: Talk about a good example of thankfulness! I would love to hear from Job, post-whirlwind :) A very brief summary of the book of Job is: a man in a very deep grief because he has lost everything but his own life and his God, who basically whines and moans and grieves. He has four influences, three trying to convince him of theories they have as to why this has happened, and one who is rebuking all three. After many chapters of this, God appears in a whirlwind, and tells Job (in a very very light paraphrase) "Step up, be a man, and answer me when I speak to you",He challenges Job, and proves Himself the more powerful one and fully sovereign. It's a great book, one of my favorites, but I would just love to hear about how Job's life had been changed after witnessing God, firsthand, speak of his attributes, and going through so much for such a valuable lesson.

Severus Snape: I can honestly say that he is my favorite character of the Harry Potter series. I have not always thought so, because his true nature isn't revealed until the last couple books of the series, but overall, he definitely is. Such dedication, love, and sacrifice was displayed by him. But not only is he fictional, but he is dead *cue weeping*. Though, to hear his side of the story on more than was written in the stories, would make me so happy. My very favorite word of the entire series is "Always" and it is spoken by him...it can easily reduce me to tears. I grew up with the Harry Potter series, I can relate many times in my life to which one I was reading at the time, and I learned alot of valuable lessons from it. I would recommend anybody read them.

Now that I have described the best tea party ever...I'm probably going to think of more people that I deem more invite worthy than the ones before...but that's just my indecisive personality. So as of the moment, these would be the top five people I would want at my ideal tea party :) 

He is "Already There"

From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit [x2]

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there
You are already there

Those are the lyrics to a song called "Already There" by Casting Crowns. Here's the link if you're interested in hearing it :) Click here to hear "Already There" You may be wondering why I chose this song, if it didn't already strike you as incredible. 

I believe there is a big problem today, with music. I'm not talking about how secular it is, or things like that (though those things are an issue). But I am talking about how people mindlessly listen. How many songs can you think of (I'm guilty as well) that you heard for the billionth time, knew most of the words, and were struck off guard to actually find out what it meant? I'm sure at least a few, and more that are unnoticed. Not only with songs that may be exalting things that are not worthy, or speaking wrongly of topics, but also with praise and worship songs. Sometimes there may be something incorrect, or even bad theology, and it's something to be cautious of. 

About a year ago, I started trying to pay more attention to what I was listening and singing along with. I have found a few songs that I caught a word or two in that didn't sit well with me, and I disagreed with. I am glad that I had been attentive enough to notice, because I'd much rather know, then sing word for word along with something that I actually did not believe. 

In my venture to make this change, I have come across several songs that are genuinely beautiful. I mean stop you in your tracks, think about it all day, beautiful. Meaningful and true and packed with good theology. This song would be one of them. It's incredibly comforting as well. 

I have put the words You're Already There in bold, every time they're said in the song. This emphasis is because it is such a true thing. God is already there. No matter what is going on in your life, no matter how hard things may be, and no matter how completely out of control they may seem, He is looking on it with a perfect plan, already ordained before you were even born. This perfect plan cannot be wavered or changed or altered. "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." Proverbs 19:21  We cannot do anything to mess up this plan, even being the D.R.F.S.S.S. that we are, we still cannot alter or change God's plan. I continue to be amazed at that fact, over and over. 

 There is another line that says "To you the future is a memory". How wonderfully and amazingly true that is. God knows what will happen. Destiny, fate, karma, all of those things are complete rubbish (oh I love that word). Now there are certainly things such as consequences, and God's plan for your life, but they are not random, or coincidences. God is in control. Bottom line. He is sovereign and powerful. The whole first verse reflects this thought. Even with the knowledge that God is in complete control, we can still forget, or push it to the back of our mind. Things can still be very hard, and when it seems there isn't a reason in the world, and it's all without intent, it's a good reminder. Because what could be more comforting than knowing that a perfect, patient, just, good, loving, and righteous God of the universe is in control, even of the difficult times.

Another noteworthy part of the song is "And all the chaos comes together in Your hands like a masterpiece, of Your picture perfect plan" this is yet another picture of God's great sovereignty. Picture perfect plan. I have to just let that soak in every time I think about it, wow. Anything that has ever or will ever happen to you is in the palm of His hand, and he uses it for His masterpiece, the further glorification of Himself. 

Casting Crowns have many other very true, beautiful and thought provoking songs, some of which are on the same album as this, "Come to the Well", and I would encourage anyone to listen. They are definitely a favorite artist of mine. 

The Big 4

It is with great excitement that I write this entry, because I have been waiting for it! The topic I will write about it fairly new to my life, but it is really important to me. So here goes! :)

Two years ago I was at a winter bible camp, it went over the new year, from 2011-2012. The speaker for the weekend was my current pastor, but not at the time. I remember walking back through the kitchen to grab a bag of skittles from the cooler, near where he and his wife were sitting at a counter talking. When I walked back by him for the second time, on my way out, he stopped me. Not knowing him very well, he intimidated me, so when he told me to stop for a second, I was worried. I thought maybe there had been a misunderstanding and I was in trouble, or whatever other ridiculous things might have been running through my dramatic mind at the time. I was surprised at what actually happened.

Instead of anything that I was thinking, he asked me a shocking question, one that I thought might have been a trick question until it unraveled. He asked me, straightforward and bluntly, "Melany, what kind of man would you like to marry?". Not only was I very confused and shocked, I had no idea how to answer. I could think of some things that I definitely didn't want, but only the faults and negative things that obviously no one is looking for. After contemplating for as long as wouldn't feel awkward, I told him that I didn't know. He said I should think about it for a while, and then made small talk with a friend that had been with me. While they talked I realized, the only thing I knew for sure, non-negotiable that I wanted, was a Christian man. When they finished, I told him, and he just sort of agreed. That was the end of it.

I didn't see him very often at the time, not being an attendant to the same church. The next time I saw him, was when my family did start attending that church. He asked me the same question again. The first time he did, I hadn't really thought about it much afterwards, but this time I really was wondering, what DO I want? So we started talking about it, and he gave me 4 points from the book of Ephesians. We started calling them the "Big 4". I am very very thankful for that, it was awesome for me to learn.
Ephesians 5:25-33 "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." 

This very clearly explains that marriage is an image of Christ and His bride. To love as he loved us, and show that through the unity of the marriage commitment. The four points that the passage explains are the traits of a desirable husband, and what I, without negotiation, am looking for in a future spouse: protect, provide, nourish, and cherish. These are not in order of importance, just how I personally remember them (when teaching this to the junior high girls at Camp Joy last summer, they remembered them by saying "P, P, ish, ish" :)).

1. Protect
This point is one of the less obvious ones, because it is not blatantly pointed out, but it is still said. When it describes how Christ treats the church, and how the said man is to love his wife as himself, it implies protection. You obviously are going to protect yourself, especially if you love yourself (which we all do, in one way or another). And in the beginning of the passage about Christ and his bride, He is protecting "her" by keeping away from "spot or wrinkle or any such things, that she might be holy and without blemish" (27b) A good husband will protect.

2. Provide 
This one is something I'm sure any woman wants, a man who will provide for her and necessarily, their family. A man with an instinct to care for them- no matter what that may mean- is a very desirable trait.
This does not imply that there is anything wrong with a marriage having a wife who works also, the Proverbs 31 woman works and raises money as well, and that is a revered picture of a good wife. No marriage is cookie cutter, some situations may be different, but the fact still stands, that it is finally the man's job to provide.

3. Nourish
This is exactly stated in the Ephesians passage. It tells about how a nourishing husband will work hard to treat his wife as Christ treats us.  A husband who nourishes his wife means everything from helping her in her walk with the Lord (being the head of the household) to things such as valuing and working towards their relationship, not purposefully putting her through anything, but caring about her well being and happiness.

4. Cherish
Most women and girls, have things they want in a man such as: romantic, sweet, thoughtful, ect. and those all fit into this point. A cherishing husband, or potential husband, will also be respectful of things such as your purity. If a man cherishes you, why would he push you into things or provoke anything? But a cherishing man would hold things off, respect you, and treat you as he should. I find this point one that I think about because of how romantic and sweet it is. Cherish is a word you don't hear very often, but it is a beautiful word. Especially how it has been stated in this passage, having a man who cherishes you, holds you dear to him, and loves you more than himself, is such an incredible picture.

I will not settle for anything less than these qualities. I recognize that any man who may have these traits, is also imperfect, but if he is a good Christian man who will protect, provide, nourish, and cherish me, who understands that we are all D.R.F.S.S.S., then he also understands the grace of our Savior, meaning he would work hard daily to meet these qualifications, and that's what I'm looking for :) So now knowing what I want, I also can avoid drama and confusion that often comes from now knowing what you want.

This goes hand in hand with a previous blog entry of mine, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and I am very thankful for the opportunity to learn and understand these things at a young age, I recognize that it is a huge blessing, and that's why I want to share :)

Homeschooling is the best....for us

A little over a year ago, I made a big and unexpected decision. Late one night, insomnia at play, I had an overwhelming urge to switch to homeschooling. So being the list maker that I am, I soon had a list of the pros and cons that would come with going through with this. Now before I continue, you should know that I was not running away from anything. I was not being bullied. I was not dealing with anything except an extreme dislike for the building I spent hours of my life in every day.

The high school I was attending (during my freshman year) was a building I did not like for a few reasons. One of them being how secular a high school is. You cannot turn a corner there without hearing 15 curse words and the latest gossip, that was quite bothering to me. Another reason being, it robbed me of precious time. I did not get to spend much time with my family at all, and though I'd gone to public school for my entire life until then, it was starting to become painful, literally. I remember specifically one day after lunch, my mom, baby sister, and I had gone out to eat. As we pulled back up to the school I felt a sinking feeling in my chest, and when I had to tell my confused sister that I was leaving again (and that I wouldn't if I had the choice) there was a very heavy and sharp pain in my chest. I dreaded going back. I longed to be with my family and out of that uncomfortable place.

All my years prior in public school, I didn't necessarily dislike it. Of course everybody has years that are overall better than others, but up until then, the past few for me were not bad. I actually had some incredible teachers, wonderful friends, and great extracurricular experiences. Junior High was better for me than most people say it was for them. I did a lot of growing, and though it just simply wasn't in God's plan for our lives, I don't think I would've wanted to home school at that time anyways. I also had grown significantly in my spiritual life the summer prior to high school, and I believe that is a large part of why my school experience changed so much for me.

One thing you should know about me is when I make up my mind, I have made up my mind. I am a very passionate, dedicated, and competitive person, which can be a blessing and a hindrance. In this instance, I am very thankful for that quality of myself, because I don't know if my parents would have been convinced to go through with it were it not for my persistency.

The morning after my sleepless night (as described above) I brought my list and ideas to my mom. I can tell you she was definitely surprised, and did not seem too sure about the idea. She went to my dad, and we all started praying about the matter, diligently. When I had them convinced that I wasn't running from any problems, they started to be ok with my idea. I do not know for sure when they changed their minds, but I am certainly glad they did :)

My closest friends are a home-schooled family, and had been for almost their entire education. So I had some encouraging help, and thankfully some adult friends of my parents that were on my side too :) At that point in time, many things started looking up. My parents were only at the hindrance of finances. The school curriculum we wanted to use (the same as my friends) and the cost of 3 laptops, was not something we could just drop everything and buy...and it was all necessary for us to start. More consistent prayer and big answers to those prayers, provided us with those things around the end of October. We could finally begin our homeschooling adventures! :) My younger brother had also decided to join me in the decision, so all of us were together beginning a totally new experience.

Having fully completed one year, and currently working on my second, I can tell you it has been a wonderful thing for my family. I get to actually see them, spend time with them, and be a part of the little everyday joys. For instance, having the ability to sit with my little sister and do school while she reads and colors...or to  watch an episode of Doctor Who with my brother over lunch. Small things like that, would have been totally out of the question if I were still in public schooling.

Now regarding my title...I have one statement to make. Yes, I am very "Pro-homeschooling" (and will homeschool my own children, Lord willing) but I recognize that it is definitely not for everyone. I am not against the public school system, I recognize it can do wonders. And I understand that school at home is not right for everyone, and not even an option for some. It is what fits my family best, and meets our needs. It has many upsides, but is not always the right fit for a family, and can definitely have downsides. We are just an example of one way it does work.

I am thankful every day for the ability to stay in my pajamas if I please, have a calm breakfast with my mother and sister, and get all of my schoolwork done, all without stepping outside my house, I love it :) So yes, I would certainly say that homeschooling is the best...for us :)